Journey of Self-Discovery

About Aiy’m Fellman

Aiy’m lives in Boulder, Colorado with his wife Donna and cat Te’a.

Since trading lunchtime people watching at Rockefeller Center for hanging with the deer in the Boulder foothills over 40 years ago Aiy’m has enjoyed being out in nature whether hiking, biking, scrambling up mountain sides, shushing through deep powder in the trees or just sitting by a creek or in his tea-mitage, sipping tea and journaling.

Upon moving to Boulder he lived somewhat communally in an intentional community where he was introduced to the Gurdjieff practice of Self Observation. Over the course of many years of group work and self-study he came to learn much about his inner workings, conditioned thinking mind and behavioral patterns. Journaling was the key tool in his process of Self Observation. Reflecting on his love for journaling, which he calls Writing Passing Clouds, he realized that in the writing process there would be a shift in perspective to that of an observer. And, in that shift there would be a disentangling and dis-identification from his conditioned thinking, emotions, roles he played and life circumstances. Through this there was a great sense of freedom, peace, contentment, and happiness – what he now calls, a quiet joy. In this he deeply grokked the teachings found in many spiritual traditions, which is, peace and happiness are not found in objects we acquire, status we attain, things we do, places we go. Rather, the peace and happiness we all seek is what we already are. Like the clear blue sky that is always present even on a stormy day, this quiet joy is present, available and accessible. It is not dependent on our state of mind or life situation. This understanding and insight has continued to unfold and deepen in particular through the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti, Rupert Spira and his dear friend Roshi Sanchi Reta Lawler of the Boulder Morningstar Zen Center.